Read to Me
by DeviousDisclaimer
Summary: Karkat gets a warning from his future self that something has gone horrible wrong and Dave has lost his marbles. What will Karkat get himself into?


As usual it was just another post-dead-from-boredom twenty four hour long span on the meteor. The usual grays and dark spaces mixing into the near silence of the area, as only the residence of this temporary living space are around. It's been quite some time since they've pasted through one of those colorfully perplexing dream bubbles…

As of now everyone is pertaining to their own business in various places around the vast and ever changing meteorite. Rose and Kanaya have already spent over four hours in one of the surprise libraries, though no one could be certain they were actually doing research in there at this point. Dave was talking to himself, sitting in the lab and throwing down ridiculously ill rhymes at a break neck pace. Luckily no one else was around to tell him to shut his Strider trap. Gamzee was nowhere to be found, as usual. Though a faint honking still echoed from the vents…

"AAAUUGGHHHH"

Alone, in a room he was fairly certain no one else knew existed, Karkat leaned back in a bean bag chair. His eyes, still premature in troll terms, focused on the computer screen in front of him. His Trollian logs had been blowing up, it was so horrendously irritating. The bright flashing continuously pulsated his think pan until he could no longer take the irrationally violent thoughts pounding away at his brain.

Finally the angsty troll decided to answer his ever pestering future-self:

-CarcinoGenesist from 5 hours in the future has started trolling you -

FCG: PAST ME LISTEN UP THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO TYPE THIS OUT

FCG: THAT BITCH IS COMING HE WILL BE HERE ANY SECOND AND I DON'T THINK THAT DOOR IS GOING TO HOLD HIM BACK.

FCG: I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SAY THIS IN A WAY THAT WILL MAKE ANY SENSE TO YOU AS YOU ARE NOW, BUT YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO ME

FCG: I KNOW I DIDN'T BELIEVE ME BACK THEN BUT YOU NEED TO BELIEVE ME, BE THE BETTER ME

CCG: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU EVEN WANT?! JEGUS CHRIST JUST SPIT IT OUT YOU FRIVILOUS NOOKSUCKER .

FCG: IM GOING TO LET THAT SLIDE SINCE IM TRYING TO HELP YOUR SORRY ASS. BUT LISTEN BE SERIOUS HERE VANTAS.

CCG: WELL MAYBE I WOULD IF YOU'D JUST TELL ME ALREADY.

FCG: STOP INTERUPTING AND MAYBE I WILL, UGH AM I ALWAYS THIS IMPATIENT? YOU NEED TO WORK ON THAT .

CCG: IM NOT BEING IMPATIENT YOU DICKWAD. YOU JUST NEED TO GET TO THE POINT BEFORE I BLOCK YOU.

CCG: SERIOUSLY, IM GIVING YOU 50 SECONDS, USE IT WISELY.

FCG: UGH!YOU UNGREATFUL FUCK THAT ISNT EVEN ENOUGH TIME IM TRYING TO HELP YOU NOW GIVE ME THE TIME OF DAY.

CCG: 43 SECONDS REMAINING.

FCG: FINE, FINE WHATEVER. JUST LISTEN CLOSELY.

FCG: THAT FREAKING BITCH STRIDER HAS LOST IT OKAY? HES FALLEN OVER THE EDGE AND IM FREAKING OUT.

CCG: WAIT WHAT? HOW THE HELL DID THAT HAPPEN? WHATS THAT PRICK GOTTEN HIMSSELF INTO?

FCG: ITS NOT SOMETHING THAT ASS GOT HIMSELF INTO ITS SOMETHING YOU DO . WAIT SHIT NO

CCG: WHAT ME? HOW ? WHAT DID I DO?

FCG: SHIT I THINK THAT'S HIM OUTSIDE THE DOOR. DON'T MAKE THE SAME MISTAKE I DID.

- Future CarcinoGenecist has ceased trolling you –

CCG: WAIT WHAT? FUTURE ME COME BACK WHAT THE HELL DID I DO TO MAKE STRIDER LOSE HIS SHIT?

CCG: AUGH WHY AM I SO USELESS!?

Karkat couldn't help but stare at his computer screen incredulously, what the actual fuck had just happened? There is no way in hell Strider could lose his shit. At least, not in the way that Gamzee had…But still what could even cause someone who is usually that chill to flip out?

No matter how much Karkat thought about it, he couldn't come up with anything. Dave was just _too_ chill; too cool about pretty much everything. He gets covered in a pile of puppet asses and comes out unscathed. Fights his older brother on a rooftop, and his glasses never tilt a millimeter. Fights alongside his brother only to watch him die, and never actually freaks out badly about it, but then again that was Davesprite who witnessed the heinous crime. Maybe he is just too cool.

_That's it. _Strider is just too cool, it's a facade. That had to be what future Karkat was talking about, he went too far when he was pestering Strider and threw him off the deep end. Strider must have finally snapped and dropped that cool kid act of his. He must have actually lost it, after all this time. And Karkat had to have been the one to break him.

_Then all I have to do to avoid that and stay away from him today and avoid making him mad. _Karkat thought to himself. That had to be an easy plan, just stay in this room all day and avoid the sunglasses wearing ticking time bomb. Easy as spotting a candy red blooded grub on wriggling day.

The task of staying put in one room proved to be harder than Karkat had originally thought. Truth is he didn't last much more than two hours. For that amount of time he managed to get through one of his favorite ROMCOMs before realizing he was starving. It had occurred to him that there was no popcorn during his totally-not-a-chick-flick-romantic film, but now? Right about now Karkat could use something in his abdominal region.

With little more than a sigh, he shut his computer screen and, after a long fight with the beanbag chair, managed to jump out off his seat. With little time he crossed the room and left, leaving the door wide open so that this bitch of a magical labyrinth meteor didn't get any ideas and make his sanctuary disappear.

Very few doorways were passed on his way to the lab, nowhere anyone could be hiding, thank gog. It was a rush through the lab and to the kitchen, but he risked it. The young troll dashed into the main area, right past the red cape wearing God Tier. His sunglasses reflected rather curiously as Vantas ran by in a panic.

"Uh—Vantas?" he inquired in a rather puzzled fashion, but didn't seem to care enough to find out.

The Alternian was only able to give off a bitter laugh as he whipped up a quick lunch. Karkat would never admit it, but he was a bit of a chef himself. He pieced together some his favorite sandwich ingredients, lightly placing each one after the next in a rather organized fashion. By the time he placed the second piece of bread on top of the well organized pile, it was starting to look like a scene straight off of the cooking channel or something.

Karkat turned around for a few seconds, grabbing a mug to place in the machine built into the walls that produced the beverage called coffee. He would need that to get through today. His mind still couldn't escape his questions. What will he end up doing that will upset Strider so badly? And is future Karkat still living?

"Ugh. Fuck this I just won't leave my room for the rest of today." He grumbled to himself, not particularly upset since he hadn't had much else planned either way.

Karkat turned back to retrieve his lunch, only to find the sunglasses wearing punk standing in his way.

"'Sup." Strider greeted, half a gourmet troll sandwich in his hand.

The troll couldn't help but give off a bit of a shriek, fuck he was too riled up over this. Dave was being completely normal, chill and stealing sandwiches. Vantas gave off a low groan, going back to collect the ingredients for his food yet again.

Dave stood by, noming on the sandwich in hand and watching the troll as he recreated his lost one.

"Bro, I'm fucking bored." He said to his troll bro who was finally eating his lunch.

"Then hang out with Terezi? She's got to be around here somewhere…" calmly the troll looked around, that teal blood had been disappearing a lot as of late. In his brief monitoring of the area he managed to catch a glance of the Time player. His expression had fallen for only a second, regaining composure just after Karkat's glance. He crossed an arm over to grasp the edge of the other.

"Nah – I think I'll just chill with my troll bro today. What are you up to?"

Things got awkwardly silent. All of the turtles lurking. Karkat couldn't help but stare at his human bro. His expression was as chill as ever, eyes masked by his cool guy shades. He smirked slightly as the troll stared at him. Could this have been what his future self was warning of? Well if future Karkat was so much of an asshole that he didn't agree to hang with Strider then that was a different story…

"I mean.." Dave started up again. "We can do anything man, you can even read me one of those shitty Alternian romance novels about trapezoids or whatever."

"Quadrants." Karkat immediately corrected. What the hell was even going on? The only conclusion was that Strider was just being a little too chill – maybe he was just lonely and needed a friend. Maybe future Karkat hadn't done that for him. "Yeah sure let's go."

In just a couple bites Karkat finished off his food, then downed his now cooled coffee and headed back towards the room he had taken as his sanctuary. Dave followed him, uncharacteristically silent the entire walk there.

When they entered the room Karkat immediately went searching for one of the better Alternian romance novels he could find. He searched the shelves for the perfect book to catch Strider's interest. He was all too distracted to hear the click of a locking door.

"Here we go!" Karkat cheered, having found it. It was perfect, a tale of forbidden love, mystery, action, quadrants, triggers and so much more. "Sit your pajama wearing ass down and get ready for some serious trapezoids!"

He took his seat back in the bean bag chair, starting in dramatically reading aloud the novel. Strider lied on the ground beside him, watching the troll read from under the cover of his shades. Karkat was just so into this shit.

Three hours of reading later and the book was finished from cover to cover along with a brief enough description of what all of that had meant translated into human culture by Karkat. He glanced down at his best bro on the meteorite, guessing that had put him to sleep, he chuckled to himself quietly, starting to stand up.

"Vantas wait." Suddenly a hand had taken hold of his leg, causing him to fall back onto the trap of a chair.

"WHAT THE HELL STRIDER!?" Karkat cursed, glaring at his friend who was now sitting on his knees closer to him. What the hell was Strider doing? Why were things getting so gog damn warm?

Slowly, Strider slid his hand into Karkat's holding tightly onto it while he took the time to crawl on top of the squirming troll.

"WHAT THE ABSOLUTE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!" Karkat screeched, attempting to break free from the human who already had him pinned against this douche of a chair. Somehow Strider had managed to grab hold of both his wrists, holding tightly, while pressing his body down against the troll's.

"STRIDER KNOCK THIS THE FUCK O—"the troll's screeches were briskly cut off by the full frontal assault. Strider had pressed his lips down against the trolls, slipping his tongue into the kiss before Karkat could even comprehend what was going on.

_What is? Why is my body heating up so much? Strider…._

Karkat looked up at his human bro, his glasses had fallen off, and there he only found those piercing red eyes staring deeply into his own. What was even …?

In a panic he kicked forward, nailing the unexpecting Strider in the stomach. He then ripped his arms free and pushed the aching boy right off of him. He crawled out of the evil trap chair, rushing for the door. The sounds of swift steps coming up behind him, he had to hurry.

His hand lurched forward, grasping at the knob, twisting, but to no avail. The door was locked. Someone was already pressing up against him, taking hold of him and turning him around to face them. Strider, now with his glasses, held Karkat against the door, leaning down and captured his lips once again. Again managing to catch the poor troll with his mouth open in shock, he tried for full French. Though the troll was much too shocked to respond to any of this.

Karkat could feel his body growing hotter, his face lighting up with a candy red blush. Everything was getting so hot, Strider—what was Strider trying to do? He could feel himself getting excited, a space in his pants starting to lift up, that tentacle bulge of his acting up – but why? Karkat started squirming against the force of the time player.

He brought up his hand, slapping Strider clear across the face, his sunglasses flying several feet away. Dave stood there in shock for a second, and then calmly strode over to his glasses, going to pick them up. Karkat watched for a second, was that—was that a bulge or was Strider actually turned on? Quickly, Vantas turned and unlocked the door dashing out and down the hall. Though not before hearing the Strider boy say calmly:

"You're going to pay for that when I catch you Vantas."

Karkat paced in the confined space of the supply closet.

" I'm Fucked. Im Fucked. Im so fucked." He said to himself. What was wrong with him? Oh dear gog, and why was he so turned on? Strider was supposed to be his human bro after all…

Without even a second thought the troll plopped down on the ground and took his crab-top out of his captchalog and began feverishly typing to his past self…


End file.
